Mrs Clode.

Back in 2007, I was managing the legacy fundraising department for an international development charity. One morning, I was asked by the Chairman to get in touch with a pledger — Mrs Clode — who had written a very strong letter of complaint. She was upset, and she was threatening to remove the charity from her Will.

My instinct at the time was to send the usual polite letter of apology. But there was something about her words, the care she had taken to write to the Chairman personally, that made me pause. The charity clearly mattered to her. I remember thinking, if she’s gone to this much effort, the least I can do is meet her halfway.

So, I decided to visit her in person with her permission. I travelled from London to Cardiff and caught a bus to her house. 

It was a Friday when I arrived at her front door, her Carer let me in and showed me into a living room. I remember almost sitting down in a comfy armchair in the corner but something made me stop. I chose a different seat. Moments later, the door opened and Mrs Clode entered and sat down right there. Phew, I thought.

I introduced myself, apologised for what had happened, and explained what had gone wrong. More importantly, what we were going to do to make sure it didn’t happen again. I must have spoken for three or four minutes. When I finished, there was silence. She just looked at me for a long moment and then said, “You’ll have to go now. My lunch is ready.”

I left feeling deflated. I was sure I’d failed to make any connection. And I asked myself: was it worth travelling all that way for 3 minutes?

Later in the year, I can’t even remember exactly when, I got a call from the Chairman to say that Mrs Clode had passed away. 

She had left a large gift in her Will.

That encounter changed how I see supporter relationships especially when emotions are high. Now, whenever I receive a letter of complaint or meet a legacy supporter who expresses strong views, I see it as a moment of truth. A chance to prove to them that they’ve been seen and heard. Because I truly believe that feeling resonates with them forever.