20 years ago, I wasn't your typical legacy fundraiser.

I mean, there weren't many brown-looking legacy fundraisers. I'm pleased things have changed.

You might think it would have been challenging for me to talk to audiences who were white, held fairly strong British colonial views, and were brought up watching racist programmes on TV. Think Alf Garnett.

But you'd be wrong.

I would travel and visit most of the 'Shires' across the UK, giving presentations about leaving gifts in Wills. At first I was slightly nervous, but after a few talks, I started to realise, I possessed a unique strength.

Let me explain with a story.

Back in 2004, a lady invited me to meet her group of friends and give a talk about gifts in Wills. She lived in Holland Park, London. For those unfamiliar with Holland Park, it's probably the wealthiest area in London.

Now, my first name comes from a Scandinavian name where the 'J' is pronounced like a 'Y'. This lady would call me 'Yensen' when we chatted on the phone. Back then we hardly used email, so she didn't know my surname. Can you see where this is going?

She was expecting a blonde, blue-eyed young man at her door.

When she opened her large front door and saw me for the first time, we both broke down in laughter, followed by a flood of tears (happy ones).

The strength I had — and still have — is the ability to break the pattern in someone’s head. When she opened that door, her brain did a double take. I wasn’t the person she had pictured. The story in her mind didn’t work anymore.

In that moment, she became curious. And curiosity is gold dust, especially in legacy fundraising.

Because when people move from that quick, automatic “System 1” thinking (as Daniel Kahneman calls it) into something slower, reflective and engaging, the conversation changes.

All because a brown looking fella from South London turned up at the door instead of the tall Scandinavian she had in mind.

Her and most of her friends left gifts in Wills. Funny thing is, that moment at the door did more for that result than any talk ever could.